First Doctor's Day

Day 28

I saw my doctor today. Her first name is Uma, so she will be referred to in this blog as Dr. Thurman. I choose to protect the identities of those mentioned here in case they ever desire not to be associated with me or my "crazy." Besides, a certain degree of anonymity is just smart sometimes.

Anyway, she checked me out and listened to my story. I've got it down pretty well by now. It goes something like this: "I have something to tell you - I'm crazy. You see, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I've had it all my life. I've hidden it from everyone I know for 36 years and now I'm teetering on the brink of insanity. I have the prerequisite people, publications, and prescriptions; and I'm ready to get better."

"I see," she says, "How do your symptoms manifest themselves?" "Usually with counting, checking, perfectionism, ordering, straightening, and cleaning," I say. "Things need to be done in even numbers. Steps have to alternate over lines or planes of any kind. Chewing needs to be equal on both sides of the mouth. I touch things, tap things, repeat things, research and memorize things ad nauseum." "Uh huh," she answers as she ponders asking me for specifics.

I decide to give her one just for fun. "Like the fact that I spent less than 10 minutes in your waiting room. I haven't been there in almost 2 years. You have 39 openings behind your receptionist - 30 of them are drawers and nine are doors organized in groups of three, two on top of the drawers and one below. There are four pictures hanging on the left wall and one on the right wall. The one on the right is larger and crooked - it leans to the left. The second photo from the left on the opposite wall is crooked inside the frame (also leaning to the left) so I was unable to fix it. you have six white chairs and four orange ones; two windows; and one cubbyhole with an angel statue in it. There is one ink pen that is nearly dry, one bottle of hand sanitizer that needs to be refilled, two magazines and one children's book with an free book bag offer on the cover. Shall I continue?" She assures me that won't be necessary.

After a listen to the lungs and a short discussion about sleep deprivation and the side effects of SSRI medications, I left with two prescriptions: one for Xanax to relax me and help me sleep and one for Zoloft to fix the chemicals in my brain. I dropped them off at the Walgreen's near where I work. I'll pick them up on the way to cash my check and start taking them tonight at bedtime.

So that's the plan for now. I have no idea how I'm going to feel or what this stuff will do for the "crazy," not to mention any side effects, but I'll keep you informed as I go. Here's to sleepier nights and happier days, World. May they come quickly and stick around for a long, long time.