"So, you believe that you have OCD?"
"Yes."
"Then you probably do."
"Really?"
"Have you done any reading, research, tested yourself?"
"All of the above. I have scoured the internet, read two books, and taken two different tests by two different authors."
"Two?"
"It's an even number thing."
"I see. It seems you've arrived at a pretty clear diagnosis. That's doesn't surprise me, actually. Most of my patients who have OCD are self-diagnosed."
This was the first conversation I had with Coach regarding the "crazy". I was surprised at first to learn that self-diagnosis was the rule and not the exception. But once I thought about it, the idea made perfect sense to me. I mean, after all, we are the kings and queens of research. For 36 years the mere mention of new subject matter would provide fuel for days of obsessive informational devourment. In reality, no one needed to diagnose me at all. I had lived with it all my life, so the beginning of my journey had more to do with admittance than proclamation.
In the last year and a half I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing people who live with "crazy" of there own. Regardless of the details, nearly every one of them were self-diagnosed in the beginning. This is why I decided to write this post and share how I arrived at my diagnosis. You may be out there wondering whether you have OCD. Maybe your friends tease you about being neat, super clean, overly organized, or whatever; and their jibes have left you wondering. I can't pronounce you OCD, but I can show you what led me to that conclusion and hopefully it helps.
I started with a book called Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty
by Johnathan Grayson. This book takes it apart piece by piece and walks you through every step of self-assessment (in fact I chose it at my local bookstore mainly because it had the most exhaustive test section). I have never met Dr. Grayson, but he has been dealing with OCD for decades and I can tell you from personal experience, the man knows his "crazy". I learned a ton of awesome information from this book including how OCD manifests differently in each person, how to understand where the "OCD thoughts" come from, and how to challenge it through cognitive behavioral therapy.
Even today, I still use much of what I learned from Dr. Grayson. It's not an overly entertaining book or a hand-holding touchy-feely experience, but it is packed full of facts, explanations, and assessments. I highly recommend picking up a copy to use as a reference during your journey. I know I have returned to this book many times for those helpful bits of information that I couldn't quite recall. I have also reassessed myself with the tests to find where I have progressed. It's not an expensive book, but one we all should own. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.Please feel free to share your thoughts about this book and/or this post in comments section. The more we talk to each other, the more progress we make.
