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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

You Can't Fall Up

Day 186

I will continue the story about the wheel on my truck in upcoming posts, but, today, I want to share something else.

When I was first diagnosed with clinical OCD there was a period of shock--a time when I said to myself, "Wow, I have a problem. I mean a real problem. This is one that takes doctors and medications and therapy. This is not just a bad day!" I did all the usual things. I researched the problem. I worried about the problem. I dwelt on all the negative aspects of the problem. Then, I told some people about the problem. I medicated the problem. After a while, I realized that it wasn't the end of all things, it was just a problem.

I was standing on the observation tower at Clingman's Dome 6643 feet above sea level (the highest point in the Smoky Mountains). Looking out, I could see for nearly 50 miles and stretched across those miles were many peaks and valleys. That's life, World. Peaks and valleys. And it was at this point that a life-changing thing happened to me. I realized that it is possible to fall from a peak as a result if a random happening; and that such a fall could send a person into a completely uncontrolled, rapid, and perilous descent landing that person abruptly and painfully at the bottom of a deep valley.

That was the first part, but what happened next sealed the deal. For the first time in my 37 years of life it became painfully clear to me that, while a person can certainly fall from a peak to a valley, it is impossible to fall back up. There's only one way out of a valley and that's to climb. Funny thing about climbing, it doesn't happen by accident like falling does. In order to climb, one has to be intentional about it. It's hard work. It's a struggle. It's a growth experience and an incredible victory. Climbing changes us--makes us stronger. This is why people pay large sums of money and risk life and limb to climb to the top of mountains, but nobody's out there laying down their life savings to fall off of one.

I'm happy to report that I have finally begun my intentional climb out of this valley. I don't know when I'll reach the top, but I do know I be stronger, when I do.

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