38

Day 497

Today is July 6, 2011 and I became 38 years old this afternoon. I have had other birthdays (37 to be exact), but this one was different. I usually spend by birthdays flogging myself with the scourge of self-pity as I slog through every depression-filled moment, thinking of all of the things I haven't accomplished. I revisit every dream of my youth in excruciating detail mocking myself for my complete lack of achievement. I remind myself of the ages when all of my grandparents died, as I try to calculate my probable life expectancy. Once I arrive at the number that will surely mark the end of my truly unremarkable life, I take note of just how much of it is already over. Makes you want to light the candles and sing, "Happy Birthday" doesn't it? It's morbid, I know. That's why today was so significant.

Today, I didn't do any of the usual depressing birthday things. I didn't stagger into the day with the sick sense of certain doom and despair I have come to know as birthday. I woke up with a different perspective. I went to work in a different mood. In fact, I did everything differently, because I realized some extremely important things. What I am about to share was huge for me. I don't necessarily expect it to be monumental for everyone, but I will warn you that reading any further may just screw up an otherwise very bad day.

My Birthday Epiphanies

The Magic of Marriage
Of my 38 years on this earth, I have known my wife for 26 of them. She has been my girlfriend for 22 of them and my wife for more than 15. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't know her and I never want to. She is precious to me. I have written about her in this blog before, and I could write volumes about what she means to me. Today, however I realized that if I could hold in my hand the complete fulfillment of every plan, scheme, and dream of my youth, I would trade them all instantly, without a second thought, for any one those 26 years. The fact that I have them all is worth more than any achievement, accomplishment, or accolade. I told you, she is precious to me. And just so you know, I told her too before I ever thought of writing this post.

The Encouragement of Children
My daughter is nearly 13 and my son is 8. I used to watch them and fret about whether or not I passed the "crazy" on genetically. Now, I look at them and see all of the aspects I love most about my wife, the humorous habits of my parents, and the talents that came from me. Sure, they have some of the odd bits too, but that's why they need parents. And it's good to be needed.

The Foundation of Friends
Among the things I took stock of today, were my friends. When I considered my small group of very close friends, I realized that every one of them are lifers. By lifers, I mean that they've been my friends for decades and they'll probably attend my retirement party, my 50th wedding anniversary celebration and my funeral. Nearly every member of the Greg's Friends Club has belonged for 15 or more years - some as long as 20 or even longer. This partially comes from being a lifer to other people, but there's a hefty load of blessing in the mix as well.

The Mindset of Maturity
Finally, I realized that the plans and dreams that I have been lamenting for years are not the plans and dreams of a mature man. They are the fleeting aspirations of a young man. I don't value the same things I did in my youth. I don't eat the same way. I don't work or play the same way, so why would I dream the same way? There is still time for new dreams and I'm just the guy to have them. Just because my grandparents died when they did doesn't mean that I will. In fact, I decided today that I will live until at least 80. This means that I'm not at half-time yet. I'm captaining the final drive of the first half and I plan to hit the locker room with points on the board.

As always, thanks for reading.
Happy My Birthday!