Super Power or Kryptonite

Day 509

OCD and ADHD combine into an odd concoction of abilities.  For instance, ADHD removes all filtering in my brain.  “Normal” people can have a conversation and, though they hear other sounds around them, they are able to tune out the extraneous noise in the room and focus on the person with whom they are talking.  I can’t do that.  With ADHD, all input is equally important, all the time.  A busy room becomes a sonic tapestry of interwoven conversational threads.  Needless to say, restaurants can be excruciating. 

When you add OCD into the mix, I not only hear all input equally, but I am, then, compelled to record and organize it in my mind.  I can actually hear four or five conversations going around me and keep track of them individually in my head.  This is a neat party trick for about ten minutes and then it becomes completely maddening, not to mention frustrating to whoever is with me at the time.  I try to think of it as one of my super powers, but despite the wow factor, it's mentally exhausting.

To give you an idea of what it's like, I'm going to let you into my head for ten minutes as a friend and I stopped into Starbucks for coffee.  Keep in mind that everything you read was recorded in my head, simultaneously, in real time and typed verbatim three hours later.

10 minutes in Starbucks

Mike: (heading to the restroom) “I’ll take a coffee.  Pick me out something real nice.”

Guy in front of me: “Now we’re talking, that’s exactly the flavor I was looking for.  Here, Honey, try this.”

Foursome behind me:

Person 1 “That’s really great, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” 

Person 2 “Yeah, you did very well, you should think about it as a profession.” 

Person 3 ”I just never thought it would be a good fit for me.  I guess I was wrong.”

Couple by the door:

Woman “I just don’t know if she’s ready, Jim.  I don’t think we should push.” 

Man “I’m not trying to push.  I just think it would be good for her, that’s all.”

Cashiers:

Woman 1 “I’ll finish clearing the pastry case.” 

Woman 2 “I’m just trying to get my register to ring out.”  

Woman 1 “Just close your till.  (looking at me) I can ring you up over here.”

Guy in front: (walking away) “See I told you you’d like it.  It’s sweet with just a little bite.”

Foursome:

Person 2 “We need to tell Jane about this.” 

Person 1 “I think we should just show her the pictures and see what she does.” 

Person 3 “I think we’ll have to.  She’d never believe if we just told her.”

Cashiers: Woman 1 “What can I get started for you?”

Me: “Two tall Pikes with room, please.”

Couple by the door:

Woman “Don’t worry, she’ll come around in time.  I was the same way.” 

Man “I hope you’re right.  I’d hate to see her miss an opportunity like this.”

Cahiers: Woman 1 “Here you go.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Mike: (back from the men’s room)  “What’s that?”

Me: “It's the Starbucks app.  I can load my card and use this to pay.  They scan it with that thing.”

Mike: “That’s so cool.”

Foursome:

Person 3 “What time is it?  We should go.” 

Person 2 “Oh my, it’s after nine.” 

Person 3 “Yeah, I think they close at ten anyway.” 

Person 3 “They do.”

Me: (walking to the condiment bar) “It’s cool, I just load with fifty bucks at a time and pay it down.  This way I don’t have to carry that card.  What? Oh, do you need some cream?  Miss, can we get some half and half?”

Coffee Woman: (handing the carton) "Sure, I think I can trust you not to run off with it.”

Couple by the door:

Man” Do you think she understands that I’m just looking out for her?” 

Woman “Maybe.  I wouldn’t stress about it.  You know how she can be.”

Foursome: (leaving to my left) Person 1 “We should do this again sometime.”

Me: (checking email on my iPod) “If Sirius Radio really wants me back, they’ll fix it so I can hear football.  I can listen to every baseball game being played, every NBA game, every NHL game, but if I want to listen to the NFL, I have to pay for the best of Sirius package on top of my XM subscription.”

Couple by the door: Woman “The food case is empty and they’re down to one register.  I think they’re closing up.”

Mike: (handing back the half and half) “Here you go.”

Coffee Woman: “Thanks.”

Me: “When they were separate companies, XM had baseball, basketball, and hockey, but Sirius had football.  After the merger, they still make me play extra for football.  It’s just like how I was done with Monday night football when they made me pay for it.  (leaving) That’s crazy!  This is America.  People went to war and died so that there could be free football in this country on Monday nights.”

Mike: “I think they went to war and died so that people could make money on football.”

Me: “Anyway, I think it’s stupid.  Where did we park?”