Day 978
You know the cliche response we give when people ask us how we're doing? The one where we say, "Oh, you know. Good days and bad days." Has anyone else noticed the painful irony in this statement? Everyone has good days and bad days. It's called "life" and just because we take medication, talk about our issues with professionals, and breathe deeper than most people, doesn't mean we're exempt. We will always have good days and bad days.
Yesterday was a prime example. I can't really point to one specific thing, it was just a bad day. I was anxious all morning so I walked to a nearby deli to clear my head and get lunch. The more I walked, the more I struggled to hold out against the rituals pressing in on me. It started out with alternating footsteps, then even numbers. The next thing I know I was counting parking spaces and keeping track of the cars driving by by make, model, approximate year, and color.
Now, I've been at this "fighting crazy" stuff for over a year. One would think that I wouldn't have to work so hard, but some days are like that - still. And I have a feeling that some days always will be. If "normal" people have good days and bad days, I don't see how I'm going to avoid it.
The good news is that I've found a secret weapon along the way. It's giving. That's right, giving. I have found that focusing on giving to someone else when I'm having a bad day makes a huge difference. Sometimes I bring donuts to work for my friends. Sometimes I go out of my way to listen to the troubles of someone I love. Sometimes I just look for opportunities to hug people. The point is that giving get me out of my head and makes me useful to others. Soon, I forget about my issues for a while because I'm concentrating on someone else's.
The next time you find yourself at the mercy of the madness, try giving. It really works. It also make people glad to have you around, and you can't go wrong there.
What do you do to get through the "bad days?" Leave a comment and let me know.
